Surrogacy; African Or Nah? 

By Maryjacob Okwuosa 

If you are a feminist, activist, working in the development space, or merely using social media in Africa, then you will feel this the most. Terms like "It's not the African style" "It's not our culture" and the likes will sound extremely familiar. 

We have spent numerous years refusing and arguing what is and isn't our culture. 

CULTURE 

In primary 4 at age 7, the definition of culture was recited in tiny voices in that bright classroom I was taught, as "the way of life of people".  Through years of growth, learning, and unlearning,  that definition has remained the same for me. 

Wikipedia defines Culture as an umbrella term that encompasses the social behavior and norms found in human societies, as well as the knowledge, beliefs, arts, laws, customs, capabilities, and habits of the individuals in these groups. 

You see, this doesn't appear contradictory to my definition from decades ago. 

When we claim something is not an African culture, we might need to confirm that no part of Africa has or had that style, belief, customs, etc. This will help us make fewer assumptions and be more receptive. Africa is a vast continent, and not a community/family that her culture can be determined by a few like-minded individuals. 

This is applicable in all works of life, but today I am writing about "Surrogacy" as this blog was inspired by a conversation with a family of African feminists. 

Surrogacy  

Surrogacy according to  Wikipedia is an arrangement, often supported by a legal agreement, whereby a woman agrees to bear a child for another person or persons, who will become the child's parent after birth.

With Surrogacy sounding like a  new word and the need to have legal support, so many activists across the continent of Africa and the world have pushed for the legalization of surrogacy in their individual nations. But to the surprise of many, a handful of African nations have trashed this campaign with the guise that it is not an African Culture. 

Citizens and Social media users have faulted this, calling it an imported culture and not worthy to breathe in our nation's constitution. 

So, come with me, as we explore whether or not Surrogacy have lived or still lives in Africa

I have seen numerous movies from the Nigerian movie industry Nollywood, where women had to pay the brideprices of other women, mostly younger ones to bear them children. These scripts were written from life stories and cultures from different parts of the nation. This culture hasn't stopped, and it is interesting to note that these children born from such arrangements are usually not associated with the birth mother and on all occasions, their surnames are decided by the older women. 

A native of Okirika in  Rivers State, South Southern Nigeria is an interview with Dennis Da-Ala Mirilla of the Guardian, spoke with no hesitation about this practice in his home town

It's done to continue a family name. If the wife does not have male children, she can also marry a wife with the hope of having male children to carry on her husband's family name. She can also do that if her family has no male child and the children from the marriage will carry her family's name

This would have been a surprise if it only happened in Okirika or possibly just in Nigeria. 

But in so many places, it used to be a norm and in some, it still is. 

I bet we all have that one friend that gives a detailed explanation of traditional and cultural stories, well if I think of such details in Kenya, then Nduri is my bet. So, reaching out to Nduri, he shared helpful instances as expected.  

In my community, barren women are given the opportunity to pick another woman to bear children for her. Her husband pays the brideprice of the younger woman she brings, and all the children from that union will be hers. Meanwhile, In Nandi Culture also in Kenya, a woman is allowed to pay another woman to come and bear her children. This woman who is usually an older woman, can decide to have a child and let the mother leave or pay her brideprice and keep her in her home to keep bearing children. No sexual activity is allowed but the woman demanding for the kids, will carter for all their needs and the children will bear her name and call her mother. 

Talking with a teacher in Imo State, South Eastern Nigeria, she shared her mum's story with me, and I couldn't stop being surprised at our definition of African culture. from her story, this didn't sound like an imported culture as she said 

My mother that gave birth to me is from Mgbidi in Imo state, she got pregnant before her Ikwa ezi (traditional ceremony of initiation to womanhood) and was sent out of the community as it is seen as a sacrilage. A good woman took her in and she had my oldest brother for her. she even had my other brothers and myself for the woman and her family. We grew to know this woman we call mama, as our mother and we answer her surname too, it is normal in this part oh

With stories like this, you might want to visit the meaning of surrogacy again. 

Hahahahahaha 

Having in mind that these women did not have any emotional attachment to the mothers of their children, you will be right to say, that these were all on agreement basis to bear children.

 Speaking to Thando, my unfailing energetic sister from Zimbabwe, she reacted differently from the story in Nigeria and Kenya, but you can bet it got more interesting. In Thando's culture, the Ndebele culture of  SouthWestern Zimbabwe there is a payment made for childbirth and the mother is free to go back to her life after the childbirth. 

In Zimbabwe, especially in my culture, which is the Ndebele culture, whenever a woman could not bear children, they will get her young sister to come and help. When the younger sister gives birth, she will leave the child for the couple and return home to continue her life. There is no bride price payment, but after the birth, the couple will go to the woman's place and make cow payments in appreciation for the child birth. It also happens, if the man is unable to impregnant his wife, he brings his brother to help, after which he is meant to return to his life too. 

If this isn't Surrogacy, then what is? 

While getting to digest this, there is a huge need to quit the impose of our individual beliefs on a continent. Many things we have stood firm to argue and said not to be an African Culture might really be existing in many parts of Africa. 

Insisting on ridiculing and marginalizing certain groups while turning a blind eye to the paramount needs  of our people might be the imported culture

I would always say, 

Every and any practice that does not threaten the rights and well being of humans in general, without religious or personal bias, should be respected. Cultures are decided by people not people by Culture.